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Bigmikeatec04
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Name: Michael
Country: United States
State: Mississippi
Metro: Jackson
Birthday: 4/20/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: Being totally lost in the presence of God, being joyful about life, having fun, always finding time to smile, serving others, being compassionate towards others and puppies, basically living life... :)
Expertise: nothing... God made me good at a bunch of stuff, but i'm an expert at nothing... :)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Hospitality
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/14/2005
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| sometimes i hate myself... seriously, i hate myself... not so much for who i am, as for what i do... this whole sin thing is a major downer... like i tell myself that i won't ever do (insert name of sin here) again... but guess what... i end up doing it... sometimes i wish i could step out of my body, look myself dead in the eye, and slap the taste out of my mouth... really i do... i frustrate me endlessly... stupid sinful nature... i'm glad that it's not for ever... one day, when i am old (hopefully), i will die and go see Jesus... i'm excited about that... the first thing i want to do is hug Him and praise Him for dying for an unworthy heap like me... like when the apostle Paul talked about being the chief of sinners, i think he meant me... but, Jesus didn't come to die for the perfect people, He came to die for the sinners... like He said, "..it's not the well who need a doctor, it's the sick.." we all are infected and dying with the disease of sin... it's true... nothing can cure it, nothing can ease the pain of having it, nothing but the Blood of Jesus... it's a purely wonderful feeling to know that He still loves me even after i've messed up countless times... but, as paul wrote, we're not supposed to sin even more, just because we're forgiven... we're supposed to try and not sin, because of the Love that gave us the forgiveness... know what i mean?... it's like the old saying, "you catch more flies with honey, than vinegar"... true story... so, knowing the King of kings and the Lord of lords definately makes life more enjoyable... to know that our faults are not permanent, our failures are not the 'be-all, end-all' of this life... to know that God has everything under control, is a wonderful realization that i am a vapor... but a vapor rises, as will I when God calls me home... have fun and God Bless!!!!!!!!!!! | | |
| xanga, my love... 'tis been far too long... things are kinda weird right now, just sorta feeling a little odd... still struggling with the 'future spouse' stuff, as always, but it's more like it's drawing close, and i'm anxious, rather than other times when i'm all like "hhhhuuuurrrrrrrrrrryyyyy uuuupppp!!!!!"... i don't know... leaving for centrifuge in new mexico sunday... i'm excited... i'm really banking on seeing God move that week... it's been WAY too long since i've felt Him... i blame myself, because there's no one else to blame but me... God's certainly not moved... i think that's the problem with me... i'm all about doing things that seem right at the time... sadly, our lives aren't lived in the now, but the actions we make now are carried over into eternity... i didn't steal that from 'gladiator'... it might not be our <-(italicize it in your head) eternity it carries over into, but it does... there are any number of examples that would play nicely into that scenario, but i can't choose one... saying that, one pops into my head... new kid at school, you want to invite him/her to church... new kid starts hanging in the 'clique' where church isn't cool... you want to be cool, so you pull a Peter and deny Him... if you repent, you'll be forgiven, but what about the new kid who didn't know about the WONDERFUL Grace that is in Christ?... say the new kid dies in a car wreck the next week, without knowing Jesus... your actions, or lack thereof, carried over into the new kid's eternity... holy smokes, the heaviness of the implications of carrying over to someone else's eternity just blew my mind... i wrote it, but didn't read it... gee wiz... that stuff's potent... wow... i think that's a perfectly good place to end it... much love xanga-ians... have fun, and God Bless!!!!!!!!!
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| today's my birthday... 21... things are changing, but some things are staying the same... i will not drink, i have never drank, so i don't plan on that changing... i don't care what the "norm" is... all alcohol is is a method of forgetting one's problems, so they can have a whole new bunch when they wake up... drunkeness is idioticy... some stuff might be starting to change, and for that i'm over-joyed, but cautious... i don't know if this is how God is going to work this out, or if i'm imagining things again, but either way praise God... i don't have much else to say... that's about all i wanted... have fun and God Bless!!!!!!!!!!!!!  | | |
| so yeah, i've been strugglin here recently... it's this whole waiting on God to bring my future spouse and i together... it's my heart's desire to wait, because i don't know who she is, but she's my everything... i mean, i'm completely in love with a girl that i've never met... and i've tried my hand at "finding" her, but all it ends in is heartbreak on my end... and i know that God has it all under control, and i just need to completely trust Him... i really, honestly want to, it's just that sometimes it get awful hard to do that, to trust... God works on so much a higher level, that even if we could see the end, we'd die, because it'd be so wonderful and beyond our comprehension... all we can see is our little version of the way things "ought" to be... when in all reality, our little version is wrong... the way things "ought" to be, and the way things need to be are more often than not COMPLETELY different... trusting God is not an idea, it's a command... there's no way around it... that's what we've been called to do... the basis of trust is love, and what greater love is there than God's?... how great is the love that has been bestowed upon us, that we should be called sons and daughters of God!!... trust God, trust His love, and trust His timing!!... have fun and God Bless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | | |
| i have a headache, and it's NOT fun... it's a tension headache, but i'm not stressed... i don't know... i believe i'll blame it on valentine's day, and the lack of a valentine... that sounds about right... so, down with valentine's day... but, in all reality, valentine's day is not the problem, the commericialization is the problem... the card companies and the teddy bear makers and such, make it seem like you have to have a valentine to sell more stuff... that's just wrong... i don't have a valentine, and am sure as shootin not going to buy anything from those pirates that are "spreading the love"... i call bullcrap on that one... spreading the love means telling others about Jesus Christ, not buying a stuffed animal, or flowers... both are very good ideas, for when there is a mutual love between two people, but there's so much more to expressing love... to love someone, as Christ loved us, is to be so devoted, so servant-hearted, that you continuously put yourself at a loss, so they will gain... we are called to be willing to set ourselves aside for the betterment of other people... not people we love, not even people we like, but other people... people we don't know... people we're not fond of... we're called to love them all... there is a difference in loving the people, and hating their actions, than hating the people... love people, hate sin... that's the best way to go... but, in loving people, we must be willing to serve them... that's what true love is all about, the serving of that person, the setting aside of your wants, to focus on their needs... Jesus did it, so should we... Jesus didn't want to go to calvary, to endure that shame and suffering, "..if there be any other way, let this cup pass from Me. but not My will, Father, but Yours.." we should have that same attitude... and i'm as guilty of not having this attitude as the next person, actually, probably more so... but, that's what true, unending, selfless love is all about... and that's a love worth dying for... have fun and God Bless!!!!!!! | | |
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